Ted Obvious reports from Lima: Have you been worried sick, following the adventures of the two drug mules from Britain, Mellissa Reid and Michaella McCollum, who’ve been busted in Peru carrying £1.5 million worth of cocaine on the way to Spain last August? Because judging by the massive coverage of the saga, millions of people are kept in suspense, hoping the two girls will not have to spend too much time in the slammer.
The two young women obviously suffered a lot, having been threatened by drug dealers in Ibiza, where they were working, and ordered to fly to Peru to pick some ‘stuff’ and bring it back. Did they know it were drugs they were supposed to carry? Of course not. They were just two happy young women, looking for some good time, and they never imagined that they would end up under arrest, facing a long prison sentence. Because it was all a bit of fun really, flying to Peru and going shopping there and having some good time. How on earth could they have known that Peru is the biggest producer of cocaine? Just like they’ve never realised that Spain was notorious for dope taking.
And of course when the girls were caught and it got into the news, the wall-to-wall coverage of their plight took account of their innocence. And hacks fell over each other, describing how they suffered and were forced to make up stories about their abduction and threats of killing their families if they didn’t fly out to Peru to pick up some ‘stuff’. And can you blame people for feeling sorry for these two, so young and, well, so young, facing a long spell in the notorious Peruvian prison.
But then came the good news that the women could plead guilty and get a lighter sentence and, circumstances permitting, spend most of it Britain. So instead of the prospect of getting 15 to 20 years or something they went down to 6 or 7 years, which could be halved. And the people in Britain felt a sense of relief and even joy that this story didn’t have a horrible ending. Considering that the girls didn’t murder or hurt anyone but just tried to deliver a miserly 11 kilos of some white powder to people in Spain. Could a hero’s welcome in Britain beckon? And why not?
But bad news came yesterday. The nasty prosecutors demanded that the two girls make a proper confession and provide names and addresses and all. And the people in Britain felt really sorry for the two women, with hacks pouring sympathy and compassion all over them. Although the girls will still avoid a long prison sentence, but they will have to sweat for it, the poor things.
So by next week the two drug mules will receive a short sentence and with luck they might be out in 3 years. And then a book deal is assured and maybe, just maybe, a film will be made about their experience and the girls will take part in Big Brother or even enter the X Factor as a singing duo, or Strictly Come Dancing. Not to mention interviews with all the newspapers and possible a glossy mag. Beats working as waitresses in Ibiza.
Relief for everyone basically. And a lesson to young people: if you have no money and want to have a bit of fun and travel the world why not become a drug mule and never look back. And even if you are caught, don’t worry, you’ll get off lightly.