Ted Obvious reports from Rome: Let’s be brutally honest about it, people: 90 per cent of all mobile phone conversations, if not more, are absolutely meaningless. Ask the people from the US National Security Agency and they will confirm this.
These calls are made out of boredom and could have just as well been not made at all. Yes, you got me right: it would have made no difference to people on both ends of the conversation, none at all, if it didn’t take place at all. Apart from the ones at close vicinity, who were forced to listen to all that drivel, unable to escape while confined to the same section of public transport or standing in a queue in a bank or a post office. ‘So I said to him, I said, blah-blah-blah. And he said, blah-blah-blah.’ And so on. And on and on.
Mobile phones have become a public menace in the hands of idiots who should have never been allowed to dump – I have no other word for it – their views and opinions on the rest of the world, providing helpless victims with details of their miserable boring lives that should have been kept in secret. Yes, there was a time, not so long ago actually, when morons had to keep their traps shut while walking down the street or using public transport. It was a blissful time, although most of us didn’t know it then. And even when the first mobiles had appeared on the scene, with their huge tariffs, most people didn’t have a clue that a disaster of biblical proportions was approaching.
But now things have gotten out of control, with every retard feeling that it’s his or her right to scream into his or her mobile, without paying any attention to the people around them. Women are much worse than men when it comes to victimising innocent by-standers. They have absolutely no problem with talking loudly in front of others, producing the most atrocious drivel ever imaginable. And very often they talk to people they are going to see anyway. Like in: ‘I’ll see you in a sec…’, followed by a full hour of unbearable verbal vomit.
There’s got to be some limit introduced on casual talking on the mobile in public places. Especially as modern technology allows it. Each mobile can come with a chip that monitors the length of the conversation, blocking it after, say, five minutes, with no possibility of getting in touch with the same number on the other end for the next ten minutes or so. It’s not a great solution, obviously, but it’s a start. And the NSA that is monitoring every bloody mobile phone call in the world can at least cut off some of the more idiotic ones.
Also, there has to be mobile-free buses and train carriages introduced more widely and restaurants and cafés and bars should have sections where mobile signals would be blocked. Bank branches and post offices should have a strict no mobiles policy – to prevent cretins from using them as telephone exchanges. Not to mention that talking in a cinema or a theatre on the mobile should be made a criminal offence.
And, finally, mobile phone companies should start raising their tariffs. To hell with the people who can’t afford to use their mobiles. If these idiots don’t understand that they can’t terrorise others with their stupid conversations and idiotic ringtones, then let them just be priced out. Noise is just as polluting as any other s..t. So it’s better we put an end to this verbal onslaught on public places. Enough is enough.
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