R.F.Wilson reports from London: Caught on the hop by that giant of 1990s politics and a school dropout, Sir John Major, who has expressed horror at the domination of elites and educated people in the corridors of power in Britain, Prime Minister David Cameron has decided to add more incompetence to his cabinet, to counter claims that his cabinet is all about private education, wealth and privilege.
Sources close to 10 Downing Street have told Stirring Trouble that Mr Cameron is preparing a blitz reshuffle soon, to introduce new spectacular incompetence into his government, to be able to claim that the coalition is not some private club for privileged eggheads. Although, as these sources point out, the current lot is doing a pretty decent job of f..king up their respective departments and coming up with policies that don’t work. But the feeling at Number 10 is that more needs to be done to appeal to a wider number of voters, in order to convince them that the coalition wants people from all backgrounds to rise to the top in British politics, without being ashamed of their failures and lack of knowledge and education
The current plans include appointing people to senior positions on the basis of their total lack of experience in the areas they will be dealing in. Some spectacular successes have already been achieved in this, with most of the current cabinet ministers having no previous experience in what they’re grappling with at the moment, be it education, finance, defense, health and other areas. But, as the thinking goes behind the scenes, more obvious failures need to be embraced, with humbler origins, exotic racial backgrounds and gender multiplicity, to make the right impression on people generally and Sir John in particular.
While on a visit to India, Mr Cameron has openly hinted that he wants more people who have practically no education and who worship all sorts of things to succeed all over the place and, hopefully, make it into parliament and the government. He pointed out that there are big achievements in this already, but more has to be done to make incompetence in high office shine brightly.
Echoing the same sentiments, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, who has an outstanding track record of incompetence in office, having failed to hold any portfolio of any sort for the past three years, said in his weekly radio show that going to university doesn’t really mean that you’d be clever and climb up the social ladder. In his opinion, young people should opt for apprenticeships and demand that they are treated the same way as university grads, failing just short of saying that children should simply skip school and go into politics on the strength of what they’ve learned from the box and computer games.
It is widely expected that the first cabinet minister with no education and no skills, but with seriously humble roots and good race and gender pedigree, will join the cabinet next month and will hold the portfolio of minister for high educations and science.
Eat your heart out, Mr Major.