R.F.Wilson reports writes from Amsterdam: Sex is greatly overrated. By those who don’t get any. I’m saying this with no disrespect for people who enjoy sexual intercourse regularly – hand relief not included.
I’m not against sex – and why should I be? I’ve had my share of it, but I’ve never been fanatical about it. Unlike some people, who talk about it most of the time and boast about their supposed adventures in all their glorious detail.
The problem is that sex becomes an obsession for people who don’t get enough of it – or any at all. They talk about sex, they read about sex, they watch sex on the box and they fantasise about it. Endless surveys tell us that men on average think about sex every seven seconds and women think about it just as often, but in a more relaxed sort of way. As in: if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, then I’m not going to lose my sleep over it.
I personally don’t believe most of the stuff that is being said and written about sex. And I sure treat all those ‘sex experts’ with deep suspicion. How come they know so much about it? Did they have lots of sex in their lives? Because if they did, then they have probably been changing their partners too often and didn’t have the time to adjust to them and start getting real pleasure from their intimacy.
It so happens that people need to get used to each other in bed, and it usually takes time for it to happen. And that’s why constant bed hopping has never produced any great sex. It’s a bit like eating junk food and thinking that you’re getting the best deal possible. It’s the same with sex. Just like good food takes time to prepare, good sex takes time to, well, become good.
So what I’m saying here is that all those ‘experts’, who roll their eyes when asked about their experience, implying that they’ve been there and done it, usually don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Most of them base their so-called advice not on their own experince but on what they read in books that are written by ugly people, who have never been laid properly in their life. Not to mention that some of these ‘experts’ have been locked in an unhappy marriage their whole lives, knowing s..t about a decent shag. For obvious reasons.
It’s the same like with agony aunts: how do they know anything about relationships? Are they happy in their private lives, yes? So then they have no idea of what a break-up with a partner means. And if they’re not happy, then they shouldn’t be telling everyone how to be happy.
And then there are the sex manuals and educational sex videos. People buy this rubbish and read it and watch it and then, supposedly, use the advice they pick up in practice. Get real, guys!
Have you ever seen those sex videos? It’s basically soft porn presented as some educational material. Odd looking people are shown in multiple sexual positions that no one in the world would ever be able to copy. There are only about five or six positions that normal people use in bed. The rest is all Kama Sutra, as they say: fun to read about or watch, but totally impractical and, I would even say, impossible to duplicate when it comes to the real thing.
The pressures of being seen as interested in sex come from an early age now. More and more often you hear from people that they ‘developed very early’, meaning that they’d supposedly lost their virginity when they were in their early teens. Some say that they were 14 when they had had their first experience and some go even lower, to 13 and even 12. It’s bulls..t, of course, simply because it’s just too early for anyone to start getting frisky at that age. But the pressures of our oversexed society are forcing people to pretend that they were ‘early starters’ and ‘fast learners’. And that they were strong on the quantative side as well. You know, like claiming that they had a hundred partners, or two hundred, or even more.
And another thing about sex in modern times: more and more elderly people are coming out and saying that they are still sexually active and lead a ‘perfectly normal life’. Men and women in their late 60s and early 70s tell anyone who’d listen that they enjoy an active lifestyle in their bedrooms. Numerous books are written about sex for elderly couples and educational sex videos now feature pensioners, in all sorts of kinky positions. The message is: you’re never too old to have sex. You may be half dead already but still enjoy an active sex life.
Why, why do people fall for all that rubbish? Why can’t they just accept that yes, sex is all fine, but that there’s more to life than sex and that it is something that is better kept private and not shouted about and talked about constantly. Especially when 99 per cent of what you hear is just not even worth considering. Like all that tantric sex s..t, for example, that supposedly lasts for hours. If you’re on dope that is.
I’ll tell you something: you don’t need to be a giant of intellect to figure out how it’s done in the sack. And you don’t need to be coached by all sorts of morons on what’s good for you. You’ll the get the hang of it yourself.
And one more thing: don’t listen to people who tell you that you must have as many partners as possible, to learn the tricks of the trade, so to speak. What you might end up with after all that ‘experience’ is some exotic sexually transmitted disease that just won’t go away for a long period of time. It’s much better to go to bed with people you really like, and stay with them for as long as possible.
As I said already, sex is greatly overrated by people who don’t get much of it, if any at all. It’s just not worth all that effort that some people put in it. It should come naturally. Otherwise it’s no fun.
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