Anton Goryunov reports from Pyongyang: Lots of fuss is made around the world about North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un ordering to bump off his uncle, General Jang Song-Thaek, accusing him of all sorts of nasty crimes.
As it always happens in communist dictatorships, Jang was put in front of the tribunal, sentenced to death for treason and other things and whacked later in the day. And yesterday the wide-eyed nation was told by a TV presenter on the box that Jang was ‘a despicable human scum’ and was ‘worse than a dog’, a very serious offence in North Korea where dogs are considered a delicatessen, and also, refreshingly for North Korea, was revealed to have been a gambler, a drug user and womaniser, all qualities that never hampered the chances of politicians in the freedom loving West to hold high office, for several terms.
Experts on North Korea claim that Jang was executed using a machine gun. How they know this, no one has any idea. But as they are experts, it sort of implies that this is what has happened.
To those people, who are feeling sorry for the ‘old dog’, it should be said that Jang had been a big shot in the previous regime of Kim Jong-Il, young Kim’s father, or dad, as it is more commonly used now, and was involved in pretty hideous crimes against the people, like overseeing starvation and millions dying of it back in 1990s, and on 00s as well. Not to mention that hundreds of thousands of people had died in the North Korean labour camps, including, incidentally, 300,000 Christians, who were banged up there for the simple fact that they were, well, Christians. So it’s not like Uncle Jang wasn’t asking for it, now was there?
Now all the eyes of keen North Korean watchers, of whom there not many to be honest, are on Young Kim’s auntie, Kim Kyong Hui, wife of Uncle Jang, who has not been seen as of lately and just might be facing a fate similar to her hubby’s. But then again, she might be still be in charge, if she had played her cards right and distanced herself from Jang. Everything will be revealed on December 17th, when North Korea will be marking the death of Kim Jong-Il and all the top cats would be getting together to mourn the Dear Leader, as he was known. If Aunt Kim is absent at the bash then it would mean that she is probably dead, or will soon be dead.
All sorts of experts and analysts have crawled out of the academic woodwork and are saying that Jang’s execution is a sign of a bitter power struggle at the top in North Korea. (Well, no sh..t! And we thought it was a reflection of harmony and love in the leadership.) The more impressionable types are even saying that Young Kim is bound to rattle his sabre and create a bit of a crisis in the region, to seal his authority. Which would make sense really for anyone who orders to bump off his uncle, who just a few months ago was considered the second most powerful man in the nation.
To the relief of millions across the world, it has been announced that the US State Department and the British Foreign Office are monitoring events in North Korea closely, making it perfectly clear that if things start to get out of hand there they will then be monitoring events even more closely. Which is a comforting thought for any thinking person, knowing that Young Kim won’t be able to get away with all sorts of nasty things without being monitored. Although on his Twitter blog Young Kim has tweeted defiantly that he will be ordering to execute as many people as he wants, and no one can do anything about it. (Incidentally, his first single ‘Baby Faced I Ain’t’ is coming out this Christmas as a deluxe edition and will be available in all good stockists.)