Israeli-Palestinian Peace Process? Now What Process Would That Be?
March 13, 2010
R.F.Wilson writes: As the so-called ‘peace process’ in the Middle East supposedly stumbles at another hurdle – Israel’s announcement that it’s planning to build another 1.600 homes for Jewish settlers in East Jerusalem – the big question that I have is this: what peace process are we talking about here? Have you seen that buffoon, Vice President Joe Biden, visiting Israel a couple of days ago? When he was meeting the Israelis, he was pledging to support them all the way. But then later he met the Palestinians, and sided with them, criticising Israel for building new settlements. Pity Hillary Clinton wasn’t there, to nod her head and smile in agreement. When was it that there was peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians? They hate each other’s guts. That’s the...
The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
March 5, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: Let me tell you something about the new rich: they have no style, no class, no taste, no anything. They got lucky once or twice with money, or ripped off others, and made a fortune. No big deal usually. Not that they have toiled all their lives for it. Have you ever been inside a house where the new rich live? It’s always a palace of vulgarity: huge horrible looking chandeliers hang from the ceilings, gold painted door knobs, toilet seats and other objects of worship gleam out of everywhere. Colours clash like a bunch of rappers on dope and hideous modern furniture that only a total lunatic would buy would be positioned everywhere. And there would be terrible modern paintings hanging everywhere and you would not even figure out what’s drawn or splattered all over them....
I Don’t Like Bankers And Lawyers. And Some Other Lot As Well
February 17, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: I don’t like bankers. I mean, I really don’t like them. I can’t imagine how anyone who considers himself to be a decent sort of person can work in an industry that is based on ripping people off. Mostly vulnerable people, like pensioners and students and poor folk generally. How on earth these scumbags live with it, I have no idea. None at all. Imagine, a banker comes home from work, having been packaging toxic debt all day to sell it to some naive buyers and conning investors out of their money, and his brain dead wife – bankers mostly have brain dead wives – has just let her plumber boyfriend out of the back door and is greeting him with a phony smile. ‘How was your day darling?’ she says to her banker husband, pecking him on...
St Albert Gore Blimey And His Followers Launch A New Religion
February 6, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: Things are not going well in the global warming religion. That is the one that St Albert Gore Blimey follows. He became a saint when he began to preach the messages of global warming, warning the world that the end is nigh if mankind does not fork out a few trillion smackers on clean technologies.Like all dodgy messages, it was all about money. The saint’s assets are now at least fifty times what they were a few years ago. St Albert got his just rewards for being deprived of the title of the US President by making himself fabulously rich. It was when he was licking his wounds after his defeat to that infidel, George Bush, that Al Gore, as he was known then, figured that the West was desperately searching for a new religion. He figured that as Christianity was on...
Things That Make You Go: What’s Wrong With These People?
February 2, 2010
Adam Lovejoy writes: Have you ever wondered why is it that car parks do not carry any responsibility for the safety of the vehicles that are left there? Not ‘left’ as in abandoned, but ‘left’ as in parked there for a considerable price to use the urine smelling premises. Car parks have a policy of not being held responsible for anything that could be stolen from your car. Even if it is hidden from sight. Nope, these parking guys say: We are only here to charge you lots of money for keeping your car with us for a certain period of time, but if it gets broken into or even stoilen, we cannot be held responsible. Tough luck, these specialists of enclosed parking, say. Should have bought shittier cars and took everything from your car with you. So how come, I would like to ask,...
A Call To Cyclists In Big Cities: Go Save The Planet Somewhere Else
January 29, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: Let’s call a spade a spade, for once: big cities are not suitable for cycling. It is time to stop all this politically correct nonsense and ban cycling in city centres for good. People who cycle to work and back – although I suspect most of them cycle just to piss off everyone – cause more problems and hassle for everyone compared to the supposed good they do for the planet. I have witnessed countless times when these nutcases got in the way of moving traffic, causing near collisions and dangerous situations. Not to mention the times they jump the red lights and speed over the pavements, sending pedestrians diving for cover. And how about their aggression when somebody gets into their way or says something to them? Look, I’m all for people exercising...
Underworld Dismayed By Falling Crime Figures. We Need To Get Our Act Together, It Says
January 22, 2010
Thomas Mathew writes: ‘Dismay’ and ‘anger’ would probably be the best words I can use to describe the reaction among in the British underworld to the latest crime figures showing an overall drop of 8 per cent in the number of serious offences committed between July and September 2009.‘It hurts, it really hurts,’ one mobster from Manchester said, to no one in particular. ‘We’re working our butts off, trying to make this nation proud, and what happens? F..king nothing! A drop in crime numbers.’ ‘It’s embarrassing,’ was the verdict pronounced on the latest crime figures by the respected Union of Burglars and Car Thieves. ‘It’s especially bad for all of us, who work at other people’s homes when they are out, to see burglaries...
Let’s Simplify Things: Let’s Tell The Banks To Go To Hell
January 16, 2010
Adam Lovejoy writes: Let us simplify things to the extreme. Let us look at the so-called ‘bail-out’ of the financial system that has taken place across the world. Governments have blown hundreds of billions of taxpayers’ money on saving the banks from collapsing. We were all told that it was absolutelly crucial to save the banking system, otherwise – shock and horror – everything would have collapsed. Everything! The politicians were telling us last year that the world would end if the banking industry was wiped out. There’ll be nothing left, they were saying. Just ruins of once great economies. So we were told to grit our teeth and give all of our money to the banks. All of it! And we were promised that we’d greatly benefit if the banks survived...
Earthquake In Haiti Proves Irresistible To Politicians. But Leaves Bankers Cold
January 15, 2010
R.F.Wilson writes: The devastating earthquake in Haiti is proving irresistible for politicians all across the world. Since the devastating tremors hit that tiny impoverished nation in the Caribbean US President Barack Obama made a second passionate statement, this time flanked by the crème de la crème of his administration, including such giants of politics as Vice President Joe Biden, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, renegade Republican Defence Secretary Robert Gates and some other blokes and broads whom nobody knows but who looked important anyway. As always it was a pleasure to listen to Mr Obama getting his priorities in order and finally finding a job big enough for him. He announced that he has sanctioned to send $100 million for the restoration of the presidential palace in Haiti...
Looking For A Fight. With Alistair Campbell
January 12, 2010
I have a bone to pick with Alistair Campbell, that disgusting man who was Tony Blair’s director of communications at his time at 10 Downing Street. He is in the spotlight again, having been giving evidence to the Chilcot inquiry into the war in Iraq today. The creep played a crucial role in dragging Britain into the war, but pretended that he was just a simple hack, turned government advisor, doing his job. But let me tell you why I personally have a grudge against Campbell. Way back, in the 1990s, I had a regular slot on BBC Radio Five Live, where as a foreign journalist I took part in discussing current affairs with other correspondents in a light hearted, humorous sort of way, but with a serious message always present. It was a great show because what we did then was to treat news...
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- As ‘Dwarfgate’ Hits Britain, We Ask: Is The World Run By Shorties?
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Samantha Cameron Talks Candidly About Her Hubby. And Sort Of Blows The Lid On Him.
- LibDems Pick A Porn Chick As Their Candidate. We Look At Other Options
- Israeli-Palestinian Peace Process? Now What Process Would That Be?
- The Cold War Is Back. But It Not As We Knew It
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team.
- Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All
- Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
- President Ahmadinejad Reveals Iran’s Official Policy
- A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
- As The British Press Sells Its Soul To The Devil, We Go Behind The Scenes Of One Newspaper
- From Now On The Met Office Will Express Doubt About Its Own Forecasts
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Live Coverage Of The Oscars Proves A Huge Hit. With Dozens Of People
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc
- Who Cares About Elvis Or Who Killed John Kennedy? Aliens Are Running Things Here
- TV Debates Between Party Leaders Will Include Product Placements
- Band Aid: Sir Bob And Friends Do Some Soul Searching
- More Breaking News. From The StirringTrouble Team
- President Zuma: The Man With The Plan
- The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
- Pearls Of Wisdom: From The Sirring Trouble Team
- About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It
- More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- BBC Cuts Costs: It’s Taking The Piss, But Not As We Know It
- A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Climate Change Myth Is Causing Panic. Even Among Climate Change Biggest Fans
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