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Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All

Anton Goryunov writes: Pardon me for asking, but what is exactly the point of dieting? You won’t lose weight anyway, as you can’t just stop eating and hope that the fat will fall off you. It won’t, because you also need to move a lot, and even exercise a bit. Otherwise, you’ll just be going round, feeling hungry and hating everyone. Like Tony Blair did when he was keeping his weight under control. I say, eat as much as you want, like Bill Clinton does. So what if you can’t see your dick when you look down. Who needs a dick anyway? And if you’re a broad, you can be rest assured that there are millions of idiots out there who like their women big. They don’t want to shag some thin skeleton with no boobs and no arse. They want meat on their women, they... 

Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc

Dan Majestic writes: The news that around 1000 Mossad ‘assassins’ were caught on security cameras, in a five star hotel in Dubai, where they supposedly whacked a Hamas leader, sent shockwaves through the Israeli intelligence. Questions were raised about the inability of the Israeli agents to disguise themselves, having their photos and names splashed across every newspaper in the world? Imagine a meeting of top people in Mossad, chaired by its Director, discussing the situation. Director: People, we’ve really screwed up this time. The whole team that went to Dubai got their covers blown. How on earth did they manage to pose for every security camera in the building? Voice: It’s a total mystery, boss. All of these guys were supposed to be highly experienced agents, trained in the art... 

About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It

Martin McCauley writes: Fiddling climate change data seems to have become a favourite hobby of some people who call themselves ‘scientists’. Two of them, from the University of East Anglia, have been caught red handed last year, making up ‘facts’ about global warming. One was Professor Phil Jones, the head of the aptly called Climatic Research Unit at UEA, and the other was his boss, Vice Chancellor of the same higher educational establishment, Professor Edward Acton. Both profs had been summoned to appear in front of the House of Commons Science and Technology Committee a couple of days ago, to explain themselves. Here is part of the transcript that has not been made public: Science and Technology Committee (STC) chair: Professor Jones, how do you sleep at night after what has happened? Professor... 

A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money

Thomas Mathew writes: Well, the best known secret is suddenly out: Prime Minister Gordon Brown is a nutter, who screams at his own staff, shoves them out of his way and threatens them with violence. Fear has gripped the corridors of 10 Downing Street, where some officials wear body armour and walk down the corridors, covering their genitals with their hands. Mr Brown, as it was revealed, lives in cuckoo-land of his own greatness, where figures never add up, where black is constantly referred to as white and where lying is not considered a big deal. Oh yes, and where stating the bleeding obvious is presented as some great wisdom. You want examples? There are many. The PM in in denial about bankrupting Britain to bail out the bankers and is conmstantly banging on about some ‘recovery’... 

What On Earth Happened To Good Old Inequality?

Dan Majestic writes: What on earth happened to good old inequality? How come everyone’s considered equal, even if they don’t make any effort to show any respect for others? And there’s more on the same subject: how come people, who haven’t done anything worthwhile all their lives, get all the preferential treatment? There you see them, skipping school, smoking and drinking and sleeping around at an early age when they should have been still, well, not smoking and drinking and sleeping around, and still they get all the sympathy and treated as equals. And if they never have a proper job in their lives and produce kids in their dozens, knowing that they wouldn’t be looking after them anyway and still they’re seen as equal to people who have a job and provide... 

I Bet People In Sodom And Gomorrah Used Mobile Phones. A Lot

Adam Lovejoy writes: I bet you people in Sodom and Gomorrah used mobile phones. A lot. You probably could hear them on the streets of S&G, screaming into their mobiles: Blah, blah, blah!!! Useless, meaningless drivel came from all over the place: ‘And I says to him, I says…’, ‘She DIDN’T, DID she…?’, ‘I’m on a carriage, I’m on a carriage…’, ‘I’m in the pisser, dear, but I can talk’, ‘That rash I told you about, well, it’s back…’ And I bet there were loud irritating ringtones, blasting from every bloody corner and every bloody window in S&G. And youngsters were all talking on the mobiles, endlessly, about nothing in particular. And disgusting thugs in hoods were showing off their latest... 

Some People Should Be Told They’re Not Beautiful

Here is a novel idea: why don’t we tell some of the celebrities that they are not beautiful, or ain’t beautiful, if they live in the US of A. Nice looking, yes, but not beautiful, because many of them think that they are drop-dead gorgeous. Especially some of the women TV presenters. You see them, sitting in their studios, reading the news from the autocue and thinking to themselves: I’m stunning, I’m absolutely stunning. If I were a man, I would kill myself out of jealousy that other men are watching me. I’m so beautiful that the news I read doesn’t really matter. People watch the news just to see me. Me, me, me. To be fair, some men TV presenters and newsreaders are no better. You can just see them thinking – can you see people thinking? Yep, sometimes... 

As Hamas Leader Is Whacked We Ask: Could It Have Been Suicide?

Thomas Mathew writes: As reports coming from Dubai allege that 1000 highly trained Israeli assassins took part in the murder of Mahmoud al-Mabhough, a Hamas leader, we ask: could it have actually been a case of assisted suicide? There were no apparent signs of trouble when Mr al-Mabhough, a devout family man, had checked into the five-star hotel. CCTV footage, made available by the hotel management to the media, depicted a man who was happy with his life, whistling a tune and smiling all the time. But additional footage showed dozens of other people checking into the hotel on that day as well. Eagle eyed Western and Arab intelligence experts picked out suspicious characters, who were posing as innocent tourists. Several of them were disguised as young children and even toddlers. One was actually... 

Pentagon Denies Reports That Surge In Afghanistan Was Filmed In Hollywood

R.F.Wilson writes: As Pentagon denies reports that the current surge in Afghanistan has been filmed in Hollywood, we ask: what the f..k is going on? And why the hell this so-called offensive in Helmand province is taking place at all, when there’s not a single Taliban fighter left in the area and US and British troops have to occupy themselves by killing civilians, or each other with friendly fire? I asked a straight talking analyst, David Straighttalking, to explain what was the reason for launching this heavily advertised military operation in the first place. David, who has written a book, ‘Afghanistan: What The F..k Is Going On?’, told me that in order to understand the situation we need to look at the bigger picture. ‘As you know,’ David said, ‘both President Barack... 

Who The Hell Needs Opinion Polls? They’re Never Correct Anyway

Adam Lovejoy writes: Let’s be creative, let’s ban political opinion polls. And let’s make it a criminal offence to publish surveys during elections campaigns. That would teach all those slimy pollsters, think tanks, TV networks and newspapers that cook up forged statistics to influence the vote. Opinion polls are practically always biased, misleading and incorrect, especially as they never mention where they had been carried out and what sort of people took part. No wonder politicians conduct their own polls to know what the real situation is. Let me give you some examples of how polls have been used in politics to deceive people. Take the last US presidential election campaign: according to opinion polls, Barrack Obama was supposedly solidly leading in the race, with Republican... 

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Previous posts

• The Cold War Is Back. But It Not As We Knew It
• More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team.
• Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All
• Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
• President Ahmadinejad Reveals Iran’s Official Policy
• A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
• As The British Press Sells Its Soul To The Devil, We Go Behind The Scenes Of One Newspaper
• From Now On The Met Office Will Express Doubt About Its Own Forecasts
• Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
• Live Coverage Of The Oscars Proves A Huge Hit. With Dozens Of People
• More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
• Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc
• Who Cares About Elvis Or Who Killed John Kennedy? Aliens Are Running Things Here
• TV Debates Between Party Leaders Will Include Product Placements
• Band Aid: Sir Bob And Friends Do Some Soul Searching
• More Breaking News. From The StirringTrouble Team
• President Zuma: The Man With The Plan
• The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
• Pearls Of Wisdom: From The Sirring Trouble Team
• About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It
• More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
• BBC Cuts Costs: It’s Taking The Piss, But Not As We Know It
• A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money
• More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
• Climate Change Myth Is Causing Panic. Even Among Climate Change Biggest Fans
• Political Correctness Is Dangerous For Your Health, Study Shows
• Binge Drinking: Who Says It Ain’t Cool?
• Political Weather Forecasts. A New Rage In Britain?
• White House Looks For A Quick Fix. And Finds It
• More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

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