Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
March 11, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: As NATO introduces a policy of ‘heroic restraint’ in Afghanistan, urging its troops not to kill everything that moves, we ask: what the f..k is going on? And, continuing in the same inquisitive manner, we ask: why the f..ck does President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad come to Kabul and say uncomplimentary things about America, knowing very well that US Defence Secretary, Robert Gates, younger brother of billionaire Bill Gates, is also visiting Afghanistan and saying that the Iranian leader’s presence these is ‘bothersome’. More questions arise out of all of this: isn’t the term ‘heroic restraint’ a contradiction in terms? How can restraint be heroic? And, on totally different subjects: can prostitutes become faithful wives? Can paedophiles be allowed to care for children?...
A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
March 10, 2010
Adam Lovejoy writes: It can only happen in Britain: the government bankrupts the country to the tune of £2 trillion and no one pretty much says a word. Everyone is too busy, melting their plastic and struggling to pay off their growing debts, to notice such trifles as going bust on a national level. Very British this, very stiff upper lip. With collagen added. And how about being taken for a ride by the Labour government and its chums in Brussels with that Lisbon treaty? It just beggars belief that the British people, who have an instinctive revulsion for everything that is linked to the EU, sleepwalked into the trap and allowed Brown&Co to sell them down the river. Who on earth believes that the Lisbon treaty is in any way different from the previous constitution that had been rightly...
Pentagon Denies Reports That Surge In Afghanistan Was Filmed In Hollywood
February 18, 2010
R.F.Wilson writes: As Pentagon denies reports that the current surge in Afghanistan has been filmed in Hollywood, we ask: what the f..k is going on? And why the hell this so-called offensive in Helmand province is taking place at all, when there’s not a single Taliban fighter left in the area and US and British troops have to occupy themselves by killing civilians, or each other with friendly fire? I asked a straight talking analyst, David Straighttalking, to explain what was the reason for launching this heavily advertised military operation in the first place. David, who has written a book, ‘Afghanistan: What The F..k Is Going On?’, told me that in order to understand the situation we need to look at the bigger picture. ‘As you know,’ David said, ‘both President Barack...
More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
February 13, 2010
Today we present more spoof breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.Breaking News: As the heavily advertised US and British surge in Helmand province commences the Taliban say they are watching it with great interest. From Pakistan. Breaking News: Pentagon reveals that a PC game based on the surge in Helmand province will be available in the shops in the next couple of days. Breaking News: Afghan President Hamid Karzia reveals that he is looking forward to more American aid going astray this year. Breaking News: Pakistani government says it is watching India with suspicion. The bastards are up to no good, spokesman in Islamabad explains. They hate our f..king guts, the pricks. Breaking News: Haiti voted the best place for self promotion by C-list celebs across the world. Breaking...
A Cynical Glance At: Wars, Tears, Public Speeches, Drives Through The Snow And Hookers
February 8, 2010
Adam Lovejoy writes: This was some week in politics, both in Britain and across the pond, in the big US of A.First, the joint British/US news: Thousands of American and British soldiers, along with tens of thousands of Afghan government troops, have been preparing all week to storm the Taliban positions in central Helmand province, to deliver the fatal blow to the insurgency. Well, at least that is what the military commanders on the ground were saying. They were also telling the folks back home that casualties among the troops can be very high and that whole helicopters with soldiers could be lost. The date of the attack, codenamed Operation Moshtarak, is kept in strict secrecy but the Taliban fighters have revealed in their interviews to friendly TV correspondents from Pakistan and China...
The London Conference On Afghanistan Was A Failure. For A Very Obvious Reason
January 30, 2010
R.F.Wilson writes: It all comes down to one thing when you have a big international gathering: whether booze is served at it in abundance. If it flows like the Mississippi, or the Nile, then things tend to go smoothly and no hasty decisions are made. Quite often no decisions are taken at all, which is usually the best outcome possible. But if the booze is limited or, as it happened at the London conference on Afghanistan, is not served at all, then things tend to get out of control.It was a huge mistake to ban alcohol at the Afghan gathering. Gigantic miscalculation. The idea was to suck up to Muslim countries that were heavily present in London. Muslims, you see, don’t drink, or at least are not supposed to drink, so the hosts figured it would be better to have no booze at all. Especially...
More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
January 28, 2010
We present another selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.Breaking News: President Barack Obama announces in his State of the Union address that he will make many more promises this year that he does not intend to keep. Breaking News: White House says President Obama will be stating the blindingly obvious throughout most of 2010. Breaking News: Confusion grows as it emerges that more than 50 per cent of the Obama Administration consists of officials who served in the previous Republican one. Breaking News: Vice President Joe Biden reveals that his latest urine specimen was not just a joy to look at but tasted like expensive beer. Breaking News: Basking in free publicity Prime Minister Gordon Brown talks sweet nothings at the London conference on Afghanistan. Breaking...
Taliban Say They’re Mortified By Gordon Brown’s Strong Condemnation Of Their Attacks
January 18, 2010
Anton Goryunov writes: Leaders of the Taliban have told anyone who would listen that they are frightened and terrified by the strong condemnation of their latest attacks on governments buildings and a shopping centre in Kabul by British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. It would have been half as bad, they say, if it was just a simple warning but Brown’s spokesman made it all sound especially scary when he said that the PM condemned our actions ‘in the strongest possible terms’. Reports coming from Afghanistan indicate that several groups within the Taliban resistance movement are seriously thinking of laying down their arms and surrendering to government forces. As one Taliban commander said, ‘we know of Brown and we know that he can come up with even stronger statements....
There Is A Way To Bring The EU Down. The British Way
November 18, 2009
Adam Lovejoy writes: I don’t know about you, but I have an instinctive dislike for the European Union. It has a whiff of the KGB about it, smacks of the old Soviet Union too much for my comfort. Unelected commissars, who call themselves commissioners, sitting in Brussels and coming up with stuff that no one really needs or wants: bananas should be all the same size and straight only, political correctness should be considered a religion, anyone who does not accept global warming is a pervert, sex outside marriage is the only sex that really matters. You know, the usual EU madness. And now that they have pushed through that Lisbon treaty of theirs, things will be getting even worse. We will have a European Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the EUSSR, just like it was with the bad old...
Is Iran Supporting The Taliban In Afghanistan?
November 8, 2009
Martin McCauley writes: The growing military sophistication of the Taliban in Afghanistan has transformed them into a formidable adversary of the US-led coalition. It is a classic case of asymmetrical warfare: a huge, heavily armed force is confronted by a much smaller, mobile force which avoids direct military confrontation.When the Taliban were defeated in 2001, few predicted that they would re-group and come back with a vengeance. How has this transformation come about? One of the sources of arms and expertise is Iran. On the surface, Tehran enjoys good relations with Kabul but an increasing number of Iranian weapons have been finding their way to the insurgents. Is Iran playing a double game: on the one hand helping to stabilise Afghanistan but on the other seeking its destruction? British...
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Previous posts
- Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All
- Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
- President Ahmadinejad Reveals Iran’s Official Policy
- A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
- As The British Press Sells Its Soul To The Devil, We Go Behind The Scenes Of One Newspaper
- From Now On The Met Office Will Express Doubt About Its Own Forecasts
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Live Coverage Of The Oscars Proves A Huge Hit. With Dozens Of People
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc
- Who Cares About Elvis Or Who Killed John Kennedy? Aliens Are Running Things Here
- TV Debates Between Party Leaders Will Include Product Placements
- Band Aid: Sir Bob And Friends Do Some Soul Searching
- More Breaking News. From The StirringTrouble Team
- President Zuma: The Man With The Plan
- The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
- Pearls Of Wisdom: From The Sirring Trouble Team
- About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It
- More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- BBC Cuts Costs: It’s Taking The Piss, But Not As We Know It
- A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Climate Change Myth Is Causing Panic. Even Among Climate Change Biggest Fans
- Political Correctness Is Dangerous For Your Health, Study Shows
- Binge Drinking: Who Says It Ain’t Cool?
- Political Weather Forecasts. A New Rage In Britain?
- White House Looks For A Quick Fix. And Finds It
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Kim Jong Il Finds A Solution To North Korea’s Problems
- Gordon Brown Will Face Tough Questions When He Appears Before The Chilcot Inquiry
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