Bankrupting Britain Out Of Recession: Dodgy Scot Sells His Budget To The Public

March 24, 2010

Bankrupting Britain Out Of Recession: Dodgy Scot Sells His Budget To The Public

Adam Lovejoy writes: Alistair Darling, who has been posing as Britain’s Chancellor of the Exchequer for the past two and a half years – a post, his friends say, he was uncomfortable with ever since he occupied it – unleashed his pre-election budget for the next financial year on the long-suffering public. For under an hour Mr Darling performed a voodoo dance in the House of Commons, moving his jet black dyed eyebrows ever so slightly, while explaining his policy of bankrupting Britain out of recession. Oozing charisma, charm and sexual fulfilment, this dodgy looking Scot, encouraged by his boss and mentor, another dodgy looking Scot, Prime Minister Gordon Brown, told the British people that things were going well in the land of make belief that is New Labour’s Britain. Crisis,... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 27, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.Breaking News: President Barack Obama announces that he is going to be present at the Copenhagen climate summit. If Al Gore has made a fortune out of climate change I’d be foolish to miss my chance, he says. Breaking News: White House says that the US is ready to give any promise on cutting CO2 emissions as long as the deadline for it comes after President Obama’s second term. Breaking News: President Obama reveals that if he loses the next election he will pardon as many dodgy people as possible and become fabulously rich, just like Bill Clinton did. Breaking News: Newly uncovered documents reveal that President John Kennedy had committed suicide. Breaking News: Chinese communist leaders say they all dye their... 

We Present More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

August 18, 2009

We Present More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present a new selection of breaking news items from the Stirring Trouble team, a group of semi-retarded people who believe what they read in the newspapers.Breaking News: New book comes out, Sexual Positions For Wankers. Sells out in all bookstores. Breaking News: Prime Minister Gordon Brown denies that he is addicted to wasting money. Public money, yes, he says, but not my own. Breaking News: Chancellor Alistair Darling agrees to change his surname as it makes him look a sissy. He will be Brown from now on. Breaking News: Barclaycard CEO Antony Jenkins is a brave man, says Barclays Bank. He moves around without bodyguards. Breaking News: Wall Street and the City of London are two places in the world where the number of conmen per square foot is higher than in most prisons. Breaking... 

What Is Wrong With The British People? Don’t They See That Their Politicians Are No Good?

July 7, 2009

What Is Wrong With The British People? Don’t They See That Their Politicians Are No Good?

Thomas Mathew writes: Have the British people lost all sense of self-preservation and reality? And are they actually capable of thinking logically anymore?Let me explain where I am coming from. Everyone knows perfectly well that this Labour government has bankrupted the country, for generations to come, with its wasteful policies and its near criminal bail out of failed banks. Primarily Scottish banks. We all know the names of the two main culprits: Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling, who have been acting with the full consent of the cabinet and Labour backbenchers. Just like it happened when former Prime Minister Tony Blair had dragged the country into an illegal war in Iraq and had the overwhelming backing of his party, apart from a few MPs. Now,... 

Britain Is In Serious Trouble. It Would Not Survive Two More years Of Labour

September 2, 2008

Britain Is In Serious Trouble. It Would Not Survive Two More years Of Labour

So, Chancellor Alistair Darling has conceded that Britain is going through the worst economic downturn for the last 60 years. He even went as far as saying that Britons were pissed off with the economy. As if it was some big secret. And yet his boss, Gordon Brown, and all his cabinet buddies immediately came down on him like a tonne of bricks. And even forced him to go on television and explain that what he really meant was that Britain was facing ‘a unique set of circumstances’ – along with the rest of the world. He actually repeated it several times, so that people would get the picture: it was not Labour’s fault that the British economy was going down the toilet. It was the result of some mystical forces creating the credit crunch, and pushing up prices on oil and...