60 Years Of The Queen On The Throne: Not That Much To Celebrate Really

February 6, 2012

60 Years Of The Queen On The Throne: Not That Much To Celebrate Really

Adam Lovejoy reports from Windsor: So, the big day has finally arrived: the Queen is celebrating 60 years on the throne – exactly to the day. No mean feat, considering the times we live in and the lack of support from her family and the slimy politicians, who were mostly working against her while playing their own nasty games. And not forgetting the stupidity and incompetence of palace courtiers, who let’s face it, managed to get it wrong practically all the time, coming up with the most ridiculous advice. Since the 1980s the republicans launched a massive attack on the Queen, using every opportunity to ridicule and belittle her, doing their best to undermine the whole principle of the monarchy itself. They used Princes Diana, a pretty but not very bright thing, to blow the Royal Family... 

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

January 22, 2012

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news spoof items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: White House reveals that President Barack Obama is feeling financially secure for the first time during his presidency. Breaking News: Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich admits that he has always lived in an open marriage with politics. Breaking News: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says she has absolutely no idea where she will travel next and why. They try to surprise me, she explains. Breaking News: Pentagon reveals it would love to start a war in Latin America or Africa. Out of spite, like it happened in Iraq and Afghanistan. Breaking News: President Hamid Karzai admits that the thought of NATO pulling out of Afghanistan in 2014 did influence his travel arrangements for that year. I will... 

Is There Such A Thing As Moral Capitalism? Nope

January 22, 2012

Is There Such A Thing As Moral Capitalism? Nope

Martin McCauley writes from the City of London: Everyone is at it. Defining capitalism, I mean. David Cameron talks about moral capitalism, Ed Miliband about responsible capitalism and Nick Clegg is still thinking of a telling adjective. Capitalism has an image problem at present. Back in the 1920s and 1930s when capitalism was not doing very well, the solution to all of society’s ills was simple: adopt a Marxist approach. A centrally planned economy would ensure continual growth and eliminate poverty, unemployment and bring universal happiness. Just look at the growth figures of the Soviet economy! That great windbag, George Bernard Shaw, who had spent most of his life writing fiction, visited Stalin’s paradise and came away ecstatic. So why, given the present travails of capitalism, have... 

The Scottish Independence Movement Is Great News For England

January 15, 2012

The Scottish Independence Movement Is Great News For England

Martin McCauley writes from Edinburgh: These are heady days for Bonnie Scotland. Alex Salmond, the First Minister, is the cleverest politician in the United Kingdom. No wonder his party, The Scottish National Party (SNP), won a clear majority in the parliamentary elections of 2010. In so doing it trounced Labour that  had come to believe that it was the natural governing party north of the border. Now that was not supposed to happen. Scottish devolution was couched in such arcane terms that no party was ever supposed to win a majority. The SNP blew Tony Blair’s calculations sky high. Mr Salmond has decided that the referendum on Scottish independence will take place in 2014. David Cameron and the Tory grandees are outraged. How could the Scots prefer Edinburgh rule to London rule? They... 

Dave Goes All Tough On Europe. Now Why Would He Do That?

December 31, 2011

Dave Goes All Tough On Europe. Now Why Would He Do That?

Adam Lovejoy writes from London: A lot of stupid things have been said and written about Prime Minister David Cameron and his supposedly tough stance on Europe, as in Dave goes to Brussels to attend a European Union summit and vetoes, yes, vetoes the new a treaty that would allow closer financial integration to solve the Eurozone debt crisis. All the easily excitable right-wingers went berserk, praising PM Cameron for standing up for British national interests. There was even talk about Britain leaving the hated EU. Some hot heads lost it completely, pointing out that Dave was finally showing his true Tory colours. And, responding to this idiocy, the great man himself announced a crusade for Christian values, as if desperate to prove that he was moving to the right faster than you can say the... 

More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Boys At Stirring Trouble

December 11, 2011

More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Boys At Stirring Trouble

Today we present more humorous pearls of wisdom and witty observations from the boys at Stirring Trouble. On all sorts of subjects, mostly politics, banking and sex. This is a perfect time for Britain to improve relations with Russia, a huge market for British goods, and tell the EU to f..k off. Political institutions in all of the developed world are tested to the limit. No one can actually boast to have a proper democracy. David Cameron does the right things and walks away from the sinking EU and idiot hacks scream about Britain’s isolation. Corrupt regimes of Central and East European EU nations would suck anyone’s dick for cash. That’s why they gave up their sovereignty. Britain would benefit directly from the collapse of the euro and the EU itself. This Soviet type monster... 

Telling David Cameron: Call A Snap General Election – Now!

December 11, 2011

Telling David Cameron: Call A Snap General Election – Now!

Ben Delicious writes from London: So what’s David Cameron doing these days? I bet he’s worried, having read all that rubbish in the newspapers about his veto at the EU summit over the new European Union treaty, even though there was no veto as such, as there was no new treaty on the table but a proposal to adopt a new set of rules that could be incorporated into the existing arrangement to control the budgets of all countries of the Eurozone and other EU members – if they would be willing to join in. Remarkably, 26 EU countries, excluding Britain, actually agreed to surrender control over their national budgets to Brussels for approval, before their respective parliaments would have a chance to vote on them. They might have as well simply offered to disband their parliaments for good,... 

Is Captain Dave About To Order Everyone To Abandon The Ship Britain?

November 23, 2011

Is Captain Dave About To Order Everyone To Abandon The Ship Britain?

Thomas Mathew writes from London: Well, there you have it: Prime Minister David Cameron, the captain if the ship Britain, has admitted that he misjudged the complexity of tackling the vast national debt and budget deficit that the nation is burdened with. It appears that Captain Dave was under the impression that a snappy austerity regime on the vessel, initiated by First Mate George Osborne, would sort out the problem. But now, more than 18 months into the voyage, Captain Dave is accepting defeat. So how come, you may wonder. Well, the thing is that under the previous Captain, Gordon Brown, the iceberg that was the financial crash of 2008 left a serious hole in the hull of the ship Britain. But instead of fixing it, Captain Gordon decided to pump all the money into refurbishing the upper decks... 

Cameron’s ‘Clear And Present Danger’ Quote Reveals He Watches The Box – A Lot

November 13, 2011

Cameron’s ‘Clear And Present Danger’ Quote Reveals He Watches The Box – A Lot

Adam Lovejoy writes from London: When PM David Cameron produced a high octane statement recently about the debt crisis in Italy presenting a ‘clear and present danger’ for the European Union, most people in the know winked at each other, as if saying: ‘Yep, that man watches the box a lot.’ In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about here, Clear And Present Danger is the title of a Harrison Ford film, based on an unreadable book by Tom Clancy, that has been shown on the box hundreds of times. Any TV addict would tell you that it’s a must-see title in his list of must-see titles. It’s one of those propaganda films that are made by Hollywood to please Washington, showing the heads of the CIA as principled and brave people, who are ready to sacrifice their own lives for others... 

A Circus Act Called Dave And The Gang Is Coming To Town

November 6, 2011

A Circus Act Called Dave And The Gang Is Coming To Town

Ben Delicious writes from London: It’s starting to resemble a circus act, this obsession of PM David Cameron with politically correct stunts and gimmicks. It’s very easy to become a joke in politics, you know. Just look at Tony Blair and George Bush and Bill Clinton and Silvio Berlusconi and many other leaders. One day they are basking in greatness and then, bam! They are laughed at, mocked and ridiculed. Mr Cameron is fast approaching the point when he can just as well done a clown suit and start entertaining crowds with his performances, talking in a silly voice, rolling his eyes and producing total nonsense. Mind you, he’s already doing that last bit a lot, so it’s not long before we get the full circus routine. Especially considering that he is spoilt for choice for picking... 

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