The Weird World Of Cinema: How Come We Buy All That Rubbish?
February 10, 2010
Adam Lovejoy writes: How come people accept the most ridiculous things that happen on the big screen? The dialogues that make no sense, the vulgarity, the stupid situations, the two-dimensional characters, the primitive or non-existent story lines and the abysmal acting. That last one has always puzzled me. Bad acting, that is. How on earth do some of the film stars manage to get away with absolutely atrocious performances, time after time after time, and still command the adoration of their fans? Is there actually such a thing as a failed film actor? I mean, once actors get a part in a relatively successful film they seem to be destined for glory almost automatically, however badly they perform. If you ever bother to analyse the acting skills of some of the biggest film stars – impartially...
Agent 007? He Was A Wimp And A Sissy. And Hopeless As A Spy
January 14, 2010
I have something to tell you that is bound to surprise you: James Bond, and I mean the James Bond in the novels written by Ian Fleming, was a wimp and a sissy, who liked simple food, drank cheap Scotch, befriended total strangers with remarkable ease, got himself into trouble all the time and generally had a very vague idea of what spying was all about. You don’t believe me? Read the book Live And Let Die, the second novel by Ian Fleming, where Bond’s character is described in detail, and you will find out that I’m not making things up. I suspect that very few people have actually read any books by Fleming. At least I haven’t read any of them, until recently when I stumbled on the film Live And Let Die, with Roger Moore as agent 007 on cable. The film is very bad. It’s...
Of Films That Really Suck. And Of Questions That Arise From That
January 9, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: I don’t know whether it happens to you a lot but it does happen to me. Sometimes I stumble on a film, on cable – I don’t go to cinemas anymore – watch it for a while and ask myself: how on earth does total crap like that gets made? I mean, who in the world finances films like that? Apart from the mob obviously that doesn’t really care about the content very much, as long as it can launder some of the money through inflated production costs. That would probably cover about a third of all shitty films, I suppose. But what about the other two thirds of rubbish that is made? So someone writes a really bad script and brings it to a big studio. The plot is non-existent, the characters are one-dimensional, the dialogues make no sense, the action...
Realism In Films. And People Getting Carried Away With It
October 24, 2009
Adam Lovejoy writes: Don’t get me wrong, I am all for realism on the big screen, and on the box as well. I’m not at all suggesting that films should be all about fantasy and make belief. If you want to make a tough, gritty drama or a tense thriller or a funny comedy, a touch of realism would do nicely. But too much realism or, as they like to call it, attention to detail, can be very boring and irritating. I can hear some people out there saying: give us an example, Adam, so that we could figure out what the hell you are talking about. And I say to these people: have no fear. That is exactly what I am going to do. Here goes: how about those long and boring scenes of people eating, either gathered round the table or sitting at some restaurant or fast food joint? There they are on...
On Crime In Films: It Does Look Mostly Ridiculous.
October 22, 2009
Anton Goryunov: What is this fascination that people have with crime in films and on television? What is so exciting about watching endless thrillers that have roughly the same set up: some actors pretend to be bank robbers, thieves, murderers, drug dealers, pimps and hookers and others pretend to be cops, and both categories don’t really look very convincing. Don’t we have enough scumbags in real life without spending hours watching more of them on screen? Thrillers have become so full of clichés that it is possible now to guess not only what is going to happen in most of them but even what the main characters are going to say, at one point or another. In my younger days, when I was still watching all that trash religiously, the thing that annoyed me most was when short actors...
The Drug Mafia Has Become Too Powerful. It Is Time To Hit Back
October 3, 2009
R.F.Wilson writes: You know what I think about drugs and drug taking? I think there is a powerful lobby, a mafia, that operates throughout the whole world and does everything possible to promote and glamorise drugs, and seduce as many people as possible into taking them. Especially young people.If you look at the way drug taking is presented in the movie and music industries, on television and radio, in books and newspapers and even by many politicians and the medical profession you will soon realise that a massive campaign in under way to get people to accept drugs as part of life. The scale of the problem is cunningly exaggerated by the so-called ‘experts’ to brainwash people into believing that drugs are now taken by an overwhelming number of people so we just have to accept it and...
The Film Industry In The West Tells Me One Thing: These Countries Must Be Dictatorships
August 13, 2009
Do you know why in every authoritarian state the film industry is always weird? Because most of the so-called stars of the big screen are usually talentless, deeply unattractive people who nevertheless make it big and are presented as huge talents and stunning lookers. Let me explain: back in the bad old days of the USSR the Soviet film industry was full of actors and actresses, who possessed practically no talents and, even worse, who looked absolutely revolting. And yet, they seemed to appear in every major film and would always play the parts intended for people with pleasant physical features and good acting skills. You would often encounter deeply unatractive actresses playing supposedly stunning heroines, who would be admired and worshiped by all the men on screen. The poor males would...
Oscar Watch: The Majority Of Films I’ve Seen Lately Were Just No Good. No Good At All
August 6, 2009
Have you ever been in situation: you are watching a film that you have heard so much about and a quarter of an hour later you find that it is such a load of rubbish that you simply cannot carry on anymore? It becomes unbearable, simply unbearable. The acting is terrible, the plot is non-existent, the characters are not just two-dimensional but they are even worse than that: they are a joke, just a joke. You leave the cinema or switch off the TV or the DVD player and wonder: how on earth could anyone have liked that sort of thing? Or even pretended to like it? How could people have actually considered this sort of rubbish to be worth anything? I have been in such situations many times. In fact, in the last couple of years I probably have not seen a single decent film, even though most of them...
Do You Like To Watch People In Toilets? It’s Very Similar To Watching Porn
June 22, 2009
Tell me in all honesty: would you watch a film about people going to the toilet? Or read a book about the subject that explores it in every tiny detail? And would you then watch another film, and another one, both devoted solely to different men and women walking into a toilet and doing their thing there? Or read one book after another that tell about the wonderful world of toilets? Or how about how some kinky stuff? Like, for example, a man walking into the toilet and getting on a chair to relieve himself into a urinal? Or standing on one leg whilst at it? Or getting himself tied up and then urinating? Or maybe you would be interested in watching two people going into the toilet at once and relieving themselves, in turns or together? Or how about a threesome? An orgy of urinating? You say...
Latest Revelations About Jacqui Smith’s Expenses Are Hilarious. Let’s Hope There’ll Be More Coming
March 30, 2009
R.F.Wilson writes: This is probably one of the most hilarious revelations that have hit the Labour party since Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott was found out to have had an affair with his diary secretary, indulging himself in sexual games with her at his government office, often leaving the door wide open to introduce more excitement into the whole thing and boost his libido. Not only was it outrageously funny because Prescott was the last person in the cabinet that you would have suspected of being a sexual predator but it was also very entertaining to watch Labour’s top brass defending the Deputy Prime Minister, while managing to keep a straight face and claiming that it was a private affair which had nothing to do with sleaze or corruption or waste of public money. The fact that...
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