Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All

March 11, 2010

Anton Goryunov writes: Pardon me for asking, but what is exactly the point of dieting? You won’t lose weight anyway, as you can’t just stop eating and hope that the fat will fall off you. It won’t, because you also need to move a lot, and even exercise a bit. Otherwise, you’ll just be going round, feeling hungry and hating everyone. Like Tony Blair did when he was keeping his weight under control. I say, eat as much as you want, like Bill Clinton does. So what if you can’t see your dick when you look down. Who needs a dick anyway? And if you’re a broad, you can be rest assured that there are millions of idiots out there who like their women big. They don’t want to shag some thin skeleton with no boobs and no arse. They want meat on their women, they...

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Category: Let's Be Cynical
Tags: dieting, food, slobs

Why Buy An Expensive Dildo When You Can Use A Banana To Spice Up Your Sex Life

February 14, 2010

R.F.Wilson writes: Having screwed the public finances for the next 100 years at least the British government produced a list of helpful tips on how to save money in the forthcoming decades of austerity and depravation.In a brochure written by top experts, who were funded by taxpayers’ in their quest to help the British people cut their family budgets, numerous ways are suggested to keep the family outgoings under control. Eating too much is viewed as one of the biggest drains on the family budget. One of the experts, Professor Henry Uneatable, writes: ‘Gobbling tonnes of food does put a heavy burden on family finances. The idea that we should have three meals a day is outdated and totally untrue. Most people can quite easily survive on two or even one meal a day. In fact, research shows...

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Category: Let's Be Cynical
Tags: children, education, food, saving money, sex toys

What Makes A Great Restaurant? Not The Food, Obviously

January 5, 2010

Dan Majestic writes: It’s not the food that makes a restaurant great, a wise man said once, it’s the atmosphere.Yep, the secret of a great restaurant, ladies and gents, is in the vibe of the place. Who cares about the food if the surroundings are great and the booze flows freely and easily? Restaurants can’t do great food anyway, simply because they could never compete with home cooking. It’s as simple as that. It’s like a prostitute can never substitute a real relationship. It just doesn’t work, you see, even if the comparison might shock you in this particular case. The atmosphere tops the list of requirements when it comes to eating out, strange as it may sound If you offer relatively good cooking in a place that has no proper vibe in it, you’re...

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Category: Let's Be Cynical
Tags: food, restaurants, service, vibe

Browsing In Supermarkets. It Has Become A Huge Hit This Year

November 11, 2009

Dan Majestic writes: Didn’t we tell you, people, here, on this very website, that food will become a luxury as the recession continues to batter good old Britain that is struggling under Labour’s occupation? (I refer you to our brilliant piece called Hard Times Are Coming. Food Will Become A Luxury Soon. 04.07.2009. Consumer Watch). It is all very nice for Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his cronies, who are probably multi-billionaires by now, having given all that money to the banks – wink, wink, nod, nod, – to say that things are getting back to normal. But just you try living on your credit cards, having lost your job and not really expecting to find a new one soon. Anyway, in case you do not know this, it has been revealed that shoplifting generally has risen dramatically...

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Category: Consumer Watch
Tags: food, restaurants, shoplifting, Supermarkets

You Are What You Read, Not What You Eat

September 9, 2009

We pay too much attention to food nowadays. That is why you see so many fat people around, including children. They are not ill, as they would like you to believe. They simply eat too much, and they eat junk food most of the time. This food craze has become widespread. Celebrity chefs have their own TV shows where they promote food as if it is something sacred. Cookery books are now sold in millions, even though most of them contain nothing new or original. Eat, eat, eat is the message coming from all over the place. It has now become fashionable to say that you are what you eat. It implies that your diet influences your behaviour and even makes you the sort of person that you are: fair or cunning, deceitful or honest, reliable or unreliable and, of course, healthy and strong or ill and weak. I...

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Category: Point Of View
Tags: Books, food, knowledge, wisdom

Hard Times Are Coming. Food Will Become A Luxury Soon

July 4, 2009

As the economic crisis continues to hit Britain hard more and more people no longer shop but browse at supermarkets and grocery stores. You can hear shop assistants asking shoppers in supermarkets, who walk around with empty baskets or push empty trolleys, ‘Can I help you, sir/madam?’ and people answering, ‘No, thank you, I’m just browsing.’ Yes, food browsing has become huge this year. You often overhear conversations of the following nature: First woman: I prefer to browse at Tesco’s, to be honest. They are much more tolerant to browsers than Waitrose. Second woman: No, no, Tesco are too downmarket for browsing. What is there to look at? I browse with my husband at the food department at our local Marks & Spencer. What wonderful packaging they have! And what...

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Category: Consumer Watch
Tags: economic downturn, food