Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

January 14, 2010

Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present another selection of breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, says he will be travelling to earthquake hit Haiti to promote his action man image. Breaking News: The earthquake in Haiti is voted first biggest PR opportunity of 2010 by most world leaders. Breaking News: Aid agencies are telling everyone to send the donations to the victims of the earthquake in Haiti directly to the private accounts of the country’s rulers. To save them the hassle. Breaking News: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton calls on everyone not to donate any money directly to her husband Bill who is a specials envoy to Haiti. He’ll go on a bender, she warns. Breaking News: World Health Organisations expresses hope that the fatality... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 27, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team.Breaking News: President Barack Obama announces that he is going to be present at the Copenhagen climate summit. If Al Gore has made a fortune out of climate change I’d be foolish to miss my chance, he says. Breaking News: White House says that the US is ready to give any promise on cutting CO2 emissions as long as the deadline for it comes after President Obama’s second term. Breaking News: President Obama reveals that if he loses the next election he will pardon as many dodgy people as possible and become fabulously rich, just like Bill Clinton did. Breaking News: Newly uncovered documents reveal that President John Kennedy had committed suicide. Breaking News: Chinese communist leaders say they all dye their... 

A Quick Cynical Glance At Events Around The World. In No Particular Order

November 23, 2009

A Quick Cynical Glance At Events Around The World. In No Particular Order

Dan Majestic and Adam Lovejoy write: Few people are holding their breath as the long awaited Chilcot inquiry into the war in Iraq opens this week in Britain. To expect that it would give answers to any of the serious questions about Britain’s involvement in the illegal war would be too much to ask, considering that the current Labour government would be the last to want to get to the bottom of things. Not to mention that Sir John Chilcot, presiding, served on the 2004 Lord Butler inquiry that had failed to find anything unusual in the then Prime Minister Tony Blair’s closest advisors ‘sexing up’ the documents that were later used to convinced the nation to go to war. Still, word is that Mr Blair has been losing sleep recently, having missed out on a chance to get that so... 

The New Faces Of The EU: Tough-Talking No-Nonsense Herman And Cathy

November 21, 2009

The New Faces Of The EU: Tough-Talking No-Nonsense Herman And Cathy

Thomas Mathew writes: The people of the European Union have spoken: two giants of politics have been finally selected to represent the EU as its President and foreign policy chief. Both are serious political heavyweights, known throughout Europe and the whole world for their independent thinking and ability to operate in political wilderness for long periods of time. Tough-talking no-nonsense Belgian Prime Minister, Herman Van Rompuy, was an obvious favourite for the post of EU President right from the start, despite all the talk that former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair was in serious contention for the job. (Who on earth would have a President of the EU with the first name Tony?) And as for Baroness (Cathy) Ashton, who has never held an elected post in her entire life, she was the ideal... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 21, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present the latest breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: The newly appointed President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy, sends a message to Tony Blair who missed out on getting the post: ‘Shit happens’. Breaking News: European Union’s new foreign policy chief, Baroness Ashton, admits that the thought that she can finally get laid for the first time in many years fills her with trepidation. Breaking News: President Nicolas Sarkozy and Chancellor Angela Merkel are all smiles when asked who is going to pull the strings now that the ‘ugly tandem’ has been appointed to represent Europe. Breaking News: Devastated by losing out to Herman Van Rompuy as the EU President Tony Blair goes on a drinking binge in Paris with some male prostitutes. Breaking... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 20, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: Asked why they have selected Herman Van Rompuy as the first President of the European Council EU leaders say they liked his name and his haircut. Breaking News: EU new foreign policy supremo, Baroness Ashton, says that she is hoping that her lack of experience could be compensated by her stunningly good looks. Breaking News: French President Nicolas Sarkozy denies that he conspired with Chancelor Angela Merkel to select two non-entities to represent the EU to piss everyone off. Breaking News: Having been rejected as a candidate for the post of the President of the EU Tony Blair goes on the run. It was my chance to get immunity from prosecution, Blair says. And I blew it. Breaking News: White House says that...