More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

March 8, 2010

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news. From the award winning Stirring Trouble Team. Breaking News: President Obama says: America will pull out of Iraq, but it will never leave. Breaking News: Iraqi government denies claims it used footage from the times of Saddam to prove that many people took part in the parliamentary elections. Breaking News: Iraqi authorities say their appeal to the people ‘Vote, you pricks, or else!’ was not over the top. Breaking News: White House says that suicide bombers in Iraq, who have tried to prevent people voting in the elections, are just weird. Breaking News: American occupation is voted the coolest thing that ever happened to Iraq. By members of the Iraqi cabinet and US troops. Breaking News: Prime Minister Gordon Brown talks to Tesco magazine about his mother.... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

March 3, 2010

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more spoof breaking news items. From the award winning Stirring Trouble Team. Breaking News: Britain says if the US sides with Argentine over the oil drilling around the Falklands it will switch sides in Afghanistan and join the Taliban. Breaking News: Chilean government admits it’s beginning to see the bright side of the recent earthquake. All that money coming in and the attention. What’s there not to like, it says. Breaking News: Manchester United reveals it has been approached by a group of drunken fans who said they want to buy the club. We agreed at once, club’s spokesman. Breaking News: War in Afghanistan is voted coolest military conflict with no clear purpose ever. Breaking News: As the British pound sterling collapses Chancellor Alistair Darling reveals that he has... 

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

December 18, 2009

More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present a new selection of hilarious breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. People ask us: are they real breaking news items? And we tell them: of course they are. But add that there is an element of fantasy in them.Breaking News: Iraqi insurgents reveal they were behind the idea to pull-out the US troops from Iraq by hacking into the Pentagon’s computers and giving false orders. Breaking News: Afghan fighters ask Iraqi insurgents to plant some silly battle plans into the US Army computers. Breaking News: Asked if he’s serious about that ‘man-made climate change shit’ US President Barack Obama breaks into hysterical laughter. Breaking News: German Chancellor Angela Merkel tells delegates at the Copenhagen conference that she’s dumped her African boyfriend,... 

A Quick Cynical Glance At Events Around The World. In No Particular Order

November 23, 2009

A Quick Cynical Glance At Events Around The World. In No Particular Order

Dan Majestic and Adam Lovejoy write: Few people are holding their breath as the long awaited Chilcot inquiry into the war in Iraq opens this week in Britain. To expect that it would give answers to any of the serious questions about Britain’s involvement in the illegal war would be too much to ask, considering that the current Labour government would be the last to want to get to the bottom of things. Not to mention that Sir John Chilcot, presiding, served on the 2004 Lord Butler inquiry that had failed to find anything unusual in the then Prime Minister Tony Blair’s closest advisors ‘sexing up’ the documents that were later used to convinced the nation to go to war. Still, word is that Mr Blair has been losing sleep recently, having missed out on a chance to get that so... 

President Obama Should Stick To Reading From The Script. For The Time Being At Least

October 31, 2009

President Obama Should Stick To Reading From The Script. For The Time Being At Least

Adam Lovejoy writes: I do not know about you, but I often wonder: does President Barack Obama realise what he has gotten himself into? It was all very nice giving promises during the Democratic primaries and not really expecting anything to come out of it, being an outsider and all that, but it’s a completely different thing now, once he ended up in the White House, with all the difficult issues confronting him. You might be wondering: why is it that I feel this way? Well, for several reasons, actually. First of all, I’m really disappointed with the way President Obama seems to be under the control of his spin doctors, seemingly afraid to say anything that might land him in trouble. Like it happened so often to Bill Clinton in his early years as President. (People tend to forget... 

President Obama Gets A Wake Up Call In Iraq

October 26, 2009

President Obama Gets A Wake Up Call In Iraq

Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: So, U.S. President Barack Obama has had a wake-up call yesterday when a double suicide attack killed at least 147 and wounded 700 people in Baghdad, near the Green Zone. It was the biggest atrocity since 2007 and reminded everyone that the so-called peace and stability in Iraq were more a fantasy rather than reality. It is worth remembering that the recent attacks took place in the area of heightened security, with a heavy police and military presence. Imagine how vulnerable Iraqis living in other areas in the country must be feeling, especially as the insurgents have already threatened to become more active as the January parliamentary elections in Iraq approach.It was only just over two months ago that insurgents staged a series of spectacular attacks in... 

Me And MacCobb: The Truth Is Out There Somewhere

October 26, 2009

Me And MacCobb: The Truth Is Out There Somewhere

Christopher Lee writes: So, I’m in an uptown bar and in comes MacCobb whom I have not seen in years and would have missed him altogether, but I recognized the suit. MacCobb wears the sort of suit that stops him getting hit by Yellow Cabs driven by guys with no English. MacCobb sits down and says something about it being a long time and then, maybe no breath is drawn, asks whether I’ve heard that Morrisey collapsed on stage.  Who or what is a Morrisey, I ask, in my driest voice from the bench of the Supreme Court (from last week a UK as well as a U.S. term). MacCobb says yes, he will have a whiskey sour (who asked him?), and then says that I must know who Morrisey is. I shake my head and say it’s nice to see him after all this time, but he talks over my niceties. You know,... 

Of Terror Alerts In Britain. And Their Connection To The War In Iraq

September 5, 2009

Of Terror Alerts In Britain. And Their Connection To The War In Iraq

Adam Lovejoy writes: You might not know this, but Britain always remains at a state of heightened terror alerts, going up and down in seriousness, depending on the information that the intelligence servives are getting. It has been so for the last six years, with levels staying high since the attacks of 7/7 in 2005. Every time I hear about these terror alerts a nagging question comes back to haunt me: why is it that no one seems to make a connection between the illegal war in Iraq that Tony Blair and his government had started six years ago and the heightened activity of Muslim extremists on British soil? As Mr Blair himself used to say in his days at 10 Downing Street, let us be tough on crime and on the causes of crime. So why should we not be tough on the current wave of terrorism and on... 

Situation In Iraq Getting Worse. So What’s The Plan, Mr Obama?

August 21, 2009

Situation In Iraq Getting Worse. So What’s The Plan, Mr Obama?

Pardon for sounding sceptical, but how is it exactly that the U.S. top military brass sells the idea to the White House that things in Iraq have become so great that it would be no problem in pulling American troops out of there in the next year or so, without running the risk of igniting a civil war? As far as I can judge from the news coming from Iraq, the situation there is far from improving, despite occasional – much less frequent than before, mind you – rosy reporting from over there by the Western media. Let us look at the latest grim statistics: in a spate of suicide bombings and mortar attacks, on August 19, nearly 100 people were killed and around 600 wounded. And that was in Baghdad, of all places. All the attacks were targetted at the crucial government ministries and... 

American Troops Retreat From Iraqi Towns And Cities. Yes, It Is A Retreat And Not A Pull Out

July 2, 2009

American Troops Retreat From Iraqi Towns And Cities. Yes, It Is A Retreat And Not A Pull Out

R.F.Wilson writes: So, the U.S. troops have concluded their retreat from Iraqi towns and cities into secure bases across the country. Yes, I use the word ‘retreat’ in this case which is the right word for the occasion. The world media, obviously, had other things on its mind, reporting endlessly about the death of Michael Jackson and the shameful farce that has been unravelling around it. TV news bulletins and newpapers seem to have lost all sense of proportion and are continuing to cover the supposed ‘mass grief’ that just would not go away. What the hacks do not realise is that their credibility, which has already been weakened by the pathetic coverage of the financial crisis, when they in effect sided with the money men, is diminishing by the hour and soon there will... 

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