More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team

April 20, 2010

More Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team

Today we present more pearls of wisdom. From the Stirring Trouble team, people who brought you gems like, ‘If you think about it, we are all just tourists in this life. So why all that luggage?’ It’s amazing how pagan savagery is accepted as normal. Buddhist monks in Tibet feed dead bodies to vultures and no one objects. Why would anyone be interested in Forex? How boring should your life be to make money on Forex? Even suicide is better. The day English football will be played by loyal boyfriends and husbands will be the end of it. What’s attraction of TV hospital dramas? One set of actors pretending to be ill and the other pretending to cure them. Both sets doing it badly. Fat chicks are everywhere. Wearing mini-skirts and showing off their huge thighs. Guys don’t respond... 

What Tiger Could Have Said To The World. But Didn’t

February 25, 2010

What Tiger Could Have Said To The World. But Didn’t

Anton Goryunov writes: If you were like me, gripped with excitement while listening recently to Tiger Woods talk about his infidelity and apologising for sleeping around like a horny rabbit, you would probably be interested to know that the greatest living athlete had two drafts of his speech written for him in advance. And today I can reveal the rejected text. Hi there, people! I’m stud, you see. I didn’t take steroids, like many other athletes did, and that is why I was horny all the time. I sometimes had an erection all day and was forced to wear baggy trousers to hide it or miss tournaments altogether. I played hard and I played hard. That is to say, I gave my all to golf and I had to unwind afterwards to relax. Just like Bill Clinton did when he was President and would smoke a cigar... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

December 14, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: Norwegian government says President Obama’s acceptance speech in Oslo still sends ripples of laughter through the country. Breaking news: Norway’s King Harald reveals he found President Obama’s break dancing at the Nobel Prize banquet tantalising. Breaking News: White House says Norway has been blessed by President Obama when he went there to pick up his Nobel Peace Prize. As a living saint he can bless things, WH says. Breaking News: Million of devastated Tiger Woods fans in America say they adored him only for his loyalty to his wife. Golf played no part in it, they say. Breaking News: Delegates at the Copenhagen climate conference accuse the Danish police of overreacting to good natured... 

Third World War? No Big News Really

December 13, 2009

Third World War? No Big News Really

R.F.Wilson writes: Imagine for a moment that the Third World War breaks out in Asia and the world media did everything possible to downplay it. Here’s how a typical TV news bulleting would look, using the stories dominating the news at the moment. It would open with a 5-minute report on the latest developments in the Tiger Woods infidelity scandal. Wood’s latest statement about his private life would be read out in which he’d express his apologies for shagging dozens of women silly and regretting that his PR agents did not prevent the story coming out. Then a name of some new ‘alleged’ (I love this word) Tiger’s lover would be revealed and his fans would be shown, saying how ‘devastated’ they were by their former idol’s behaviour. ‘I thought... 

The Tiger Woods Drama. Burning Questions Arise

December 4, 2009

The Tiger Woods Drama. Burning Questions Arise

Dan Majestic writes: As the world of sport and masses of fans mourn the reputation of the once squeaky clean living sporting legend, golfer turned serial adulterer, Tiger Woods, StirringTroubleInternationally poses hard-hitting questions that seem to mount as the whole saga sinks into the collective imagination. How about this for example: will more women come forward in America and in other countries, in which Tiger was filling those holes with his balls in recent years, to confess to having had sexual relations with the handsome billionaire? Are we talking dozens or hundreds of women here? And what about females who will strenuously deny ever having sex with Tiger? We might be into hundreds of thousands of women in this case. Imagine, every week we would have at least several thousand females... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

December 3, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: Afghanistan, swine flu and climate change are named as the best three distractions from the mess in the economy by world leaders. Breaking News: Taliban commanders praise President Obama for revealing the deadline for withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan. The war will be so much easier now, the Taliban say. Breaking News: White House says President Obama will continue to read from the autocue religiously. He’s a very religious man, White House explains. Breaking News: Vice President Joe Biden reveals that his boss’s delayed his decision on Afghanistan because he was practicing to read from the autocue convincingly. Breaking News: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says that the number of additional... 

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

November 29, 2009

More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team

We present more breaking news items. From the Stirring Trouble team. Breaking News: Scandal erupts as it emerges that Barack Obama and his wife Michelle have gatecrashed the US presidency. Breaking News: Al-Qaeda says it has been gatecrashing official functions at the White House since time immemorial. What’s the big deal, spokesman says. Even a child can do it. Breaking News: After the gatecrashing scandal White House admits that President Obama often mingles with people who should not be there in the first place. Breaking News: International Federation of Gatecrashers hails two of its members for fooling the security at the White House by disguising themselves as a man and woman. Breaking News: Living sports legend Tiger Woods admits his dream of becoming a racing driver has not worked...