I Really Can’t Treat The UN Seriously. Especially With A Frontman Like That
February 9, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: Pardon me for asking, but what’s this guy, Ban Ki-Moon, the UN Secretary General, all about? Is he for real or what? Should anyone treat him seriously or is he just a stand-up comedian who comes out before the world media and says funny things, without expecting anyone to take him seriously? I have a suspicion that most of the delegates at the UN are sniggering quietly, when good old Ban does his thing. I’ve noticed some people smiling uncontrolably when they see the UN Secretary General strut his stuff. You know, ina sarcastic sort of way. I watched Mr Ban a couple of times in action, last time when he graced Haiti after the earthquake, and I wasn’t impressed at all. He didn’t even bother to look interested. And when he ventured bravely last year...
The Best Of Breaking News Items Of 2009. From The Stirring Trouble Team
January 2, 2010
It’s the first Saturday of 2010. So, naturally, we present a selection of some breaking news items from 2009 that have made the team from Stirring Trouble world famous and envied by other websites.Breaking News: At a UN sponsored international conference on poverty in Nice delegates are astonished to learn that poor people demand food at least three times a day. Breaking News: International poll among world leaders reveals that they would accept money from total strangers. If the sum in question is substantial Breaking News: President Barack Obama says he regrets his recent comments. Most of his comments, actually. All of them, in fact. Breaking News: Asked what he feels when he walks into the Oval Office every morning President Obama replies: bewildered, confused, frightened. Breaking...
Let’s Get The Somali Pirates To Patrol The Seas. It Would Save Money And All The Hassle
November 6, 2009
Adam Lovejoy writes: Here is a novel idea how to tackle piracy on the high seas off the coast of Somalia: hire the pirates to patrol the shipping routes. This would be the best and the simplest option. If there are lowlifes out there in Western capitals of Somali origins – although something tells me that most of them are probably not Somalis – who are financing the pirates then governments should find the money to outbid them and get the buccaneers on our side. Give them proper high powered speed boats so that they could impress the local chicks, provide them with fancy uniforms and tell them to patrol the seas day and night. That would sort out the problem in no time. Money talks in Somalia, just like it talks in all other parts of the world. It is just that politicians have...
Let’s Scrap The G8 And G20 And Let The US And China Do Their Thing
November 3, 2009
Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: I would like to make a radical suggestion: let’s scrap both the G8 and the G20 groups of nations that gather regularly for no apparent reason and decide absolutely nothing. Instead, the G2 group should emerge in their place that would include the United States and China, the two most pompous and annoying nations in the world.You are probably wondering: what would be the advantages of such an arrangement? Well, first of all, the G2 meetings would be held only in America and China and that, in turn, would mean that other countries would no longer have to cope with influxes of world leaders, with huge entourages, and there would be no need to spend vast amounts of money on hosting these useless gatherings and providing security for them. Secondly, the G2...
Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
September 24, 2009
We present the latest selection of spoof breaking news items from the team at Stirring Trouble. It is heartening to see that these snippets of news are so popular among our readers. It is political satire at its best. We even hear that some comedians use our jokes in their routines. Anyway, here is the new selection, hot of our printing presses. Breaking News: During his speech at the UN General Assembly U.S. President Barack Obama breaks into a song We Are The World, as delegates hug and kiss each other. Breaking News: The White House denies claims that an orgy of excess will be held at the forthcoming G20 summit in Pittsburgh. Breaking News: U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, reveals that that the Israeli and Palestinian leaders did exchange blows before meeting with President Obama...
We Present More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
August 6, 2009
Today we present more breaking news items from the Stirring Trouble team. They reflect all the latest news from around the world. All names and countries are, of course, made up to protect the innocent. Breaking News: Al Gore overheard saying that nuclear power rocks. Breaking News: UN declares masturbation as a form of manual labour. Manual workers of the world, unite, UN says. Breaking News: As another living veteran of WW1 is found to be alive the grief surrounding the death of Harry Patch is called off. Breaking News: Somali pirates announce that they will accept donations from shipping companies in the form of ransoms for possible future hijacks of ships. Breaking News: Bankers from different countries gathered in Switzerland to moan to each other and blame capitalism for the financial...
Why Should We Care What Politicians Are Up To. Be It On Madagascar Or In Brussels?
July 19, 2009
Can I ask you this: do you really care what happens, say, on Madagascar, the paradise island in the Indian Ocean, in a political sense? Have you been anxiously awaiting more news about the upheaval there earlier this year that seemed to drag on forever? The ruling President was challenged by the leader of the opposition who accused him of corruption and abuse of power and all of a sudden newspapers across the world went berserk and covered Madgascar every day. For a couple of weeks Madagascar was a fashionable subject. And then it simply went away and everyone forgot about it. And then some other short lived subject came up, about Burma, or something. And even Nepal was mentioned for some reason at one point. And Sri Lanka was a big story as well. I have to be honest: I did not really follow...
Turkey Wants To Speak For Africa In The UN Security Council
February 27, 2009
Martin McCauley writes: Turkish President Abdullah Gul has just completed a visit to Kenya and Tanzania. The President thus becomes the first Turkish head of state to visit these sub-Saharan states. Kenya and Turkey signed an agreement on civil aviation and health care. Turkish Airlines has begun direct flights between Istanbul and Nairobi. In Tanzania, Gul pointed out that all but two African states had supported Turkey’s candidature for a non-permanent seat for 2009 and 2010 in the UN Security Council. The Republic of Turkey, he said, will be the ‘voice of Africa in the UN. It will support Africa on all issues’. Gul mentioned that over 60 per cent of the issues which come before the UN Security Council relate to Africa. The President’s tour is a continuation of the...
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- As US Troops Are Preparing To Cut And Run, We Ask: Will Democracy Triumph In Iraq?
- As ‘Dwarfgate’ Hits Britain, We Ask: Is The World Run By Shorties?
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Samantha Cameron Talks Candidly About Her Hubby. And Sort Of Blows The Lid On Him.
- LibDems Pick A Porn Chick As Their Candidate. We Look At Other Options
- Israeli-Palestinian Peace Process? Now What Process Would That Be?
- The Cold War Is Back. But It Not As We Knew It
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team.
- Is There Any Point In Dieting? Nope, None At All
- Winning Hearts And Minds In Afghanistan. Even When They’re Detached From The Bodies
- President Ahmadinejad Reveals Iran’s Official Policy
- A Cynical Look At Life In Britain. And The Stiff Upper Lip
- As The British Press Sells Its Soul To The Devil, We Go Behind The Scenes Of One Newspaper
- From Now On The Met Office Will Express Doubt About Its Own Forecasts
- Pearls Of Wisdom. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Live Coverage Of The Oscars Proves A Huge Hit. With Dozens Of People
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- Mossad Is Thinking Of Going Public. As A Plc
- Who Cares About Elvis Or Who Killed John Kennedy? Aliens Are Running Things Here
- TV Debates Between Party Leaders Will Include Product Placements
- Band Aid: Sir Bob And Friends Do Some Soul Searching
- More Breaking News. From The StirringTrouble Team
- President Zuma: The Man With The Plan
- The New Rich Have No Style, No Class, No Taste. No Anything
- Pearls Of Wisdom: From The Sirring Trouble Team
- About One Pine Tree. And Global Warming Written All Over It
- More Breaking News Items. From The Stirring Trouble Team
- BBC Cuts Costs: It’s Taking The Piss, But Not As We Know It
- A Case Of One Madman Blowing All The Money
- More Breaking News. From The Stirring Trouble Team
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