The Cold War Is Back. But It Not As We Knew It
March 12, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: The Cold War is back, but not as we knew it. It’s now called Cyberwars. News that the Chinese have been extremely sophisticated in hacking into British, American and NATO computers has led to the Cabinet Office in London setting up the Office for Cyber Security. Imagine a meeting in Beijing of the Chinese Office for Internet Hacking. Director: Comrades, we’ve been rumbled. We underestimated the intelligence of our Western opponents. They’ve worked out where the hacking is coming from and what we are after. We’ll have to adopt a new, much cleverer strategy. Ideas, please. Voice: I studied in America at the best IT universities. What we have to do is to send our best brains to these universities. They will then learn how the Americans think and will be able to...
White House Looks For A Quick Fix. And Finds It
February 28, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: Times are hard in America. Despite all the rubbish, coming from the government, experts and bankers about the recovery kicking in, the country’s economy is going down the toilet. President Barack Obama’s popularity has gone through the floor and confidence among Americans is at an all time low. Imagine a meeting in the White House involving the Chief of Staff and senior advisers. CoS: Guys, we’re in trouble. The economy is down and our people are miserable, including our beloved boss. What do we have to do to cheer them up? Voice: How about asking the Federal Reserve to print enough money to give every American a hundred grand? That’ll cheer them. CoS: I’m sure glad you’re not in charge of the Treasury or the Fed. If we did that the dollar would collapse...
The Chinese Should Be Afraid. Very Afraid
February 19, 2010
Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: Pardon me for asking, but why the hell do the Chinese think that the Americans are going to honour their debts to them? The US owes China something like $1.4 trillion. Maybe even a more than that, because both sides are really holding their cards close to their chest at the moment. Washington is telling Beijing to buy more of its Treasury bills and bonds, claiming that if China keeps the mighty American economy afloat, the US will continue to buy Chinese goods. And that, the Yanks are saying, will keep China’s industry going. It’s bullshit, as the Chinese are buying pieces of worthless paper, but it seems to work. In order to cling to power the Chinese communist rulers will fall for any trick, and the cunning Americans know that. Now, I’m...
Pentagon Denies Reports That Surge In Afghanistan Was Filmed In Hollywood
February 18, 2010
R.F.Wilson writes: As Pentagon denies reports that the current surge in Afghanistan has been filmed in Hollywood, we ask: what the f..k is going on? And why the hell this so-called offensive in Helmand province is taking place at all, when there’s not a single Taliban fighter left in the area and US and British troops have to occupy themselves by killing civilians, or each other with friendly fire? I asked a straight talking analyst, David Straighttalking, to explain what was the reason for launching this heavily advertised military operation in the first place. David, who has written a book, ‘Afghanistan: What The F..k Is Going On?’, told me that in order to understand the situation we need to look at the bigger picture. ‘As you know,’ David said, ‘both President Barack...
It’s Simple: America Should Beat The Crap Out Of China. Before It’s Too Late
February 7, 2010
Dan Majestic writes: Pardon me for asking, but why is America pussyfooting with China? The Chinese communists are throwing their weight around, threatening other nations, buying up everything that is offered for sale around the world, and not a squeak comes from Washington, not a sabre is rattled. Where’s the American thirst for a real foreign adventure? Not some silly small wars, like we see in Iraq and Afghanistan, with their abysmally low body count. Bring on the big thing, give us all a serious war, like Hollywood always likes to portray. OK, here’s the deal: America should beat the crap out of China, before it’s too late. It’s all very nice to talk about world peace and friendship between nations, but I bet you the Chinese have already worked out a plan to achieve...
A Fly On The Wall Look At What The Chinese Leadership Is Up To
February 5, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: Imagine a scene is Zhongnanhai, the plush residence of the Chinese leaders in Beijing. They have gathered to consider what to do about recent American attempts to provoke tension between the two countries. The following exchanges take place:The President says: ‘Comrades, America is testing our patience. They are selling arms to Taiwan, telling us how to run our economy and demand that we allow total freedom on the Internet…’ Shouts from the floor: ‘Disgrace! How dare they, imperialist pigs! Let’s sell them poison goods!’ The President says: ‘I can understand you strong feelings, comrades. But strong measures and not a good option. The American model of capitalism has failed and ours is succeeding. They thought that free markets act in a...
Who Else Wants To Take On The Taliban? How About Asking China?
January 22, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: Here is a novel way for the United States to resolve the stalemate in Afghanistan: why not ask China to step in? Militarily speaking. Especially as Pakistan has already been dragged into the war by the Americans. So why not China now, as it is bound to take the pressure off the US troops so that they can spend more time winning hearts and minds of the local population and train more Afghan soldiers, who will then join the Taliban and keep the war going. How it can be done? Well, President Barack Obama can nip down to Beijing for a day or two (see the image to this article) and ask his hosts, politely, to join the mighty American army in Afghanistan. And in return the US can promise to buy even more Chinese made goods. And store them in their giant warehouses or ship...
Of Games That Some Nations Play. Military Games, That Is
January 11, 2010
Martin McCauley writes: You’ll never guess who is providing the main military muscle to Pakistan. Go on, have a guess. Is it the United States? No. Is it Britain or Russia? Certainly not. Is it India? Get real, people, India is Pakistan’s main enemy. I will spare you all the torturous pondering: it’s good old China. Sino-Pakistani military cooperation goes all the way back to 1966. And it got more and more sophisticated with time. Last month it was revealed that China is to deliver 36 modern J-10 jet fighters to Pakistan, at a cost of $1.4 billion, making up 70 per cent of China’s arms exports this year. It is significant that Pakistan will become the first foreign recipient of this third generation jet fighter. Islamabad has dismissed reports that the overall deal...
So What Was The Point Of President Obama’s Visit To China?
November 20, 2009
R.F.Wilson writes: Pardon me for asking, but waht was the point of President Barack Obama’s visit to China? Apart from meeting the whole of the politburo of the Communist Party of China in person and having two dinners with them, forced to watch the abysmal Chinese folk dancing and singing during one of them. And, as some cynics are saying, apart from disappearing for a while from Washington where tough decisions need to be taken. The whole visit seemed to be stage managed by the Chinese from the moment President Obama entered the country’s airspace. Even his much hyped ‘town hall’ meeting with Chinese students in Shanghai on the first day of his trip did not really look very impressive. The students were all carefully selected in advance, asked all the right questions...
President Obama In China: Please Don’t Mention Human Rights Or Democracy
November 15, 2009
Anton Goryunov writes from Moscow: Do you think that US President Barack Obama would raise the issue of human rights and democracy generally during his current visit to China? Will he, for example, tell Chinese President Hu Jintao during their private little chat something along the lines of: ‘Look, Hu, I know we owe you a hell of a lot of money, but I really need to tell you that you should stop throwing people in jail for their political views and religious beliefs and introduce democratic elections. Or we will find it hard to work with you and your people.’ And President Hu would smile and nod, like all Chinese people do when they’re pissed off big time, and say that he’ll give it a thought when he has a free moment. Do you think this sort of thing could happen? I personally...


















